Thinking of Breasts

More specifically, breasts at festivals.

Picture the scene:
You are in a very, very big crowd waiting for a big-name group to make their appearance; they will be late, because, let’s face it, the headliners always are, so you’ve got maybe half an hour, forty minutes to kill before they turn up. Nobody really wants to move in case they end up right at the back, unable to see anything.
So, how do they while away the time?
The cameras pan the crowd, looking for women sitting on (usually) mens’ shoulders. Those women who are there and realise that the cameras are trained on them are expected to lift their tops and flash their breasts before the camera moves on. If they do, the crowd cheers, and the camera moves on. If they don’t, the crowd boos, and the cameras may either stay trained on the woman until she gives in, or return to her later, to see if she’ll give in this time…..

Look, I’ll admit it. I’m confused.

The women who were up there clearly knew what would be expected of them. It is unlikely that they would be sitting on those mens’ shoulders a good half an hour before the next act started for any other reason – it’s hardly worth it to watch an empty stage, is it?!
And the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed at festivals – at least at the one I’m thinking of. Nobody seems to care what you wear or don’t wear, although I never saw any full nudity.

I suppose it’s not the breasts I have a problem with in themselves. Personally, I’d love to walk around, if not completely topless, then at least more literally topless – ie, wearing only a bra and jeans – in public, in the summer. (They’d bounce rather painfully if I didn’t wear a bra, sadly.)

It’s just that that’s your entertainment. Breasts. Nothing else. And, to be honest, I see them all the time. I’d rather have seen a huge mexican wave, or something.

Or, the one part of the breast-fest that I loved wholeheartedly…..

A topless brunette sits on the shoulders of a man in the crowd, faced away from the cameras…. The pair notice that the cameras are now pointed in their direction, and the brunette turns to face them, wearing a massive grin and nipple tassels, and whips off the wig to reveal a man……

He proceded to massage his nipples enthusiastically, and got the biggest cheer of the day….


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