Random Fool Of The Day:

The man who wrote a four hundred word column entitled My Girlfriend Didn’t Like Porn.

Sadly, I threw the paper away in a fit of extreme irritation, mixed with thoughts about porn that probably would’ve got me thrown off the bus for indecency had anybody else known about them. If only he could have heard them, however, he might never have had the foolishness to write that column.

Because lots of women don’t like porn. In fact, lots of men don’t like porn. It’s just that, like so many things, porn has long been classified as a kind of “boy’s toy”, something that every man should enjoy, yet unnatainable for us weak little hysterical women.
And there are many different reasons why many different people don’t like many different types of porn.

Personally, I harbour mixed feelings.
I don’t mind the idea of porn per se, but the way that porn is produced and packaged means that I don’t really want to go near it, although I have seen some.

It makes me very uncomfortable wondering just how much coersion was used, how much force, how much blackmail. I feel sick at the thought that I might be witnessing a rape – and worse, enjoying it. Especially since venturing onto literotica, which is a site dedicated to erotic literature, funnily enough. Some of the fantasies I read about there – stories of professional rapists, an entire section entitled “nonconsent/reluctance” (I’m impressed by the euphamisms, but really, if you don’t consent, then that is rape) – have shown me that it’s a frighteningly common thought. And I know that rape fantasties don’t always equal wanting to rape or be raped, but even so, it’s not something I like to find so frequently.

And there’s another problem.

It’s all designed to be watched by a certain type of man.
“I went into one shop,” one of my friends told me recently, “and there was a small stand in the corner for ‘gay sex’ – where all of the video covers featured men – and a whole wall full of covers showing blonde hair and big breasts.”

It’s so common. I hate it.

I hate it that the existance of real lesbians is completely denied, because of course they’re just doing it for the man’s enjoyment. As though his cock is the most important thing in the world.
I hate it that every woman is assumed to be bisexual, and that the man who wrote this stupid, stupid column pouted that his girlfriend didn’t want to watch two women, although he point-blank refused to watch two men.
I hate it that all ‘mainstream’ porn is about Teh Menz.

And I hate it that the most sought-after scenes in ‘mainstream’ porn seem to be:

a) a blowjob, which is, by nature, intended for the sole pleasure of the man
b) anal sex – the man penatrating the woman – which is unlikely to give the woman any pleasure, since our G-spot is nowhere near (and ok, I wouldn’t normally pander to stereotypes, but guys, have you ever thought to ask for directions?)
c) the ‘money shot’ – watching the man come, usually over the woman.

I for one don’t find it at all sexy thinking of having a guy shoving something into an orifice of mine that’s only designed to have waste food come out, or indeed getting his come all over my nose.

There. Done. Now if only I could reduce that down to 400 words, and convince the editors of The London Paper that they wanted to print my vitriol, sarcasm and general rage, I would be a woman triumphant. At least until the readers voted on whether they liked me….


6 Comments on “Random Fool Of The Day:”

  1. tcupnewt says:

    Once a guy told me that my excuse to not like porn is that I’m a woman. Right, so me not liking my gender abused and hurt makes sense to him. So really, what’s his excuse for watching it? Sounds like he’s acknowledging that something is off but it’s MY job to get over it or at least not bother him whilst he jacks off. The fact my objections to porn come from harmful working practices, the devaluation and co-modification of human bodies (male and female) and coercion in the sex industry. This has nothing to do with the vagaries of my femininity but with being what I see as a decent human being.

  2. tcupnewt says:

    To continue (now I’ve seen the rest of your post) you sum it up very well.

    Porn is created in a climate of an absolutely abhorrent sex slavery trade industry; we can’t ignore that. We don’t know what the situations of the actors are and as such that’s iffy from the word go; like you said, enjoying what could be abuse is not something I want to risk being a part of.

    I do enjoy reading literotica and I have read some stunningly well done fics where consent is creepyfied but the author is fully aware of that and showing the ramifications as well as one’s where the author seems completely unaware they are representing rape. I’m not sure what to make of that…

  3. HHM says:

    The anorectal canal is not near the G-spot, but its anterior wall is continuous with the posterior vaginal wall, which contains sensory and parasympathetic nerves that are involved in the sensation of and response to arousal. Some hypothesise that this was ‘nature’s contraceptive’, a functional adaptation in social animals to allow intercourse without conception. Of course, sex is intersubjective, so pleasure with respect to sexual practices cannot be defined outside the context of the person’s experience.

  4. Rachel says:

    Tcupnewt – thanks for the comments, and for coming back!

    Hane – I can remember and understand that you are a medical student, with the vocabulary appropriate to that profession.
    It would be nice if you could remember that most of my readers – and indeed myself – are NOT medical students.
    Please rephrase accordingly, or run the risk of me paraphrasing for you, doubtless missing something of the point you wanted to make.

    You and your comments are always welcome, provided they can be rendered into laymans’ terms.

  5. iamforchange says:

    That’s an interesting post from an interesting perspective. Cutting it down however to a mere 400 words would do the piece a serious injustice. Good luck with the press and especially the editors of your London Paper…

  6. Rachel says:

    Thank you. I wrote this nearly three years ago, though, so there’s certainly things I’d add to it now.

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