Flatmate keeps wanting attention from me. I keep refusing to give him any, partly because I’m a meancruelevil person, and partly because even if he tells me about how he couldn’t find the motivation to get out of bed this morning another five million times, there is nothing I can do about that. I don’t think it’s indicative of a particularly healthy outlook on life, and I’d much rather that he felt better, but I still can’t actually help. I’m not even bothering to suggest things that might help, because you know what? He knows that things exist that might help. Probably, deep down, he knows that I’m not one of those things.

2 Comments on “Attention”

  1. LiseyDuck says:

    I had an officemate like this for several years, the worst phase being after we were moved so his desk was next to mine and before I got the mobile internet device that allowed me to work from home for part of the week. He needed constant attention and wanted physical contact all the time, which is NOT my scene with anyone but my best friends and boyfriend. I didn’t mind so much when we were on opposite sides of a cubicle office with a lot of others around, so I used to be ok with the occasional long chat. Then we moved, and I became his captive audience all day, apparently entertaining him became part of my job description, and the conversations started involving his sexual thoughts about my supervisor. (who was, btw, a man who was only into women and specifically only into his wife…) Oh, and being in touching distance meant that I had to be touched several times a day. At first I felt really mean for not wanting to go along with this, but my work suffered so much in the end that I had to enforce boundaries. This created a whole lot more bad feeling than if I’d just put more walls up at the beginning…

    Anyway, sorry for the incontinent teal deer, but the moral of this story is to enforce as healthy boundaries as possible as soon as possible if you don’t want to either devote your life to this person or end up having a massive row…

  2. Rachel says:

    I think most of us have known someone like this at some point in our lives. They get much easier to deal with if you make sure to treat yourself as the most important person in the room!

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