… And Then I Threw A Shit Fit

It’s no secret that I’m very firmly in favour of procreating at some point. (I went through a stage in my teenage years of being terrified at the mere idea of pregnancy, thanks to watching my mother go through her third pregnancy when I was 12, but that seems to have passed now.) Actually, for the last couple of months I’ve been broody to the point of wanting to change my contraception so that I can’t just “forget” to take my pill. But I got over that. Exam stress has a wonderful way of making you forget about hypothetical babies.

So, because I’m possibly too honest for my own good, I was talking to J about this odd broodiness, and that led quite neatly into The Baby Name Discussion. That’s always good for a laugh – J’s traditional father has inadvertantly ensured that my surname will be passed on to my children.* When we moved on to first names (there are remarkably few that work with my surname, but I’m damned if I’m giving it up!) J suggested that we call our first son, if we have one, by J’s fathers name. And then I threw a shit fit.

Firstly, because I can’t imagine anything worse than giving a child of mine a name that could only have been popular in the 50’s, and probably wasn’t even popular then.
Secondly, because I could imagine his reaction if I suggested we named our first daughter, if we have one, after my mother.
Thirdly, because – well, you should probably just read this post.

Eventually, I prevailed. This is because (a) I am more stubborn than J is, (b) it was a crap idea, and (c) my womb, my rules.

Pointing out that J has his father’s surname, and that therefore all of our children would have a link-by-name to their paternal grandfather, probably helped.

But mainly it was (a) and (c) that did it. As before, when a discussion has got grouchy, my strongly worded response was that if it mattered so much to J that he couldn’t compromise, then he should feel free to find somebody else to reproduce with. And yes, trolls of the internet: it matters enough to me that I would go and find somebody else to reproduce with. The moral of this story is that compromising is fantastic, as long as it’s not you that has to do it.


*We’d discussed hyphenating, which I hate, and discussed using one name as a middle name, which is what will happen. J’s dad, thinking that we were planning on hyphenating and presumably terrified that J’s surname would be less visible, insisted that J’s should go first. So it will. As the middle name. Mine will be the “real” surname. There’s a small, petty bit of me that is just waiting to see his face when he realises….

7 Comments on “… And Then I Threw A Shit Fit”

  1. Helen says:

    a name that could only have been popular in the 50′s, and probably wasn’t even popular then.

    Now I’m curious. Ernie?…Cyril?

  2. blue milk says:

    Hhahaha. It is a minefield this stuff, it really is… Thanks for sharing your experience.

  3. Kirstente says:

    I still reckon you should call your first child Qwerty.

  4. Rachel says:

    @ Helen: It’s not my information to share, so I’m afraid you’ll just have to stay curious… but Cyril isn’t far off! In fact, I might start referring to J’s dad as Cyril 🙂

    @ Blue Milk: It seems like, just when we’ve successfully negotiated one area full of mines, another one pops up. I don’t know what makes me think we can successfully procreate…

    @ Kirstente: Would you reconsider if I told you that I recently discovered a sex-toy cleaner called Sqwerty?

    Incidentally, one of the compromises I made to avert the let’s-give-the-son-my-dad’s-name situation was agreeing that I wouldn’t name the daughter after you, E, S, or any of your suggestions. Sorry!

    I’m also not allowed to give any of my kids the middle name “dinosaur”, which was one of the threats I may have made…

    (But I’m totally referring to the foetus as Foetus 1 until birth, or possibly “the foetusaurus”, and nobody can stop me!)

  5. kirstente says:

    Damn it, it’s like J doesn’t trust us!

  6. Rachel says:

    It’s ok. I’m just going to claim your more sensible suggestions as my own. 🙂

  7. kirstente says:

    Did J. say anything about us naming the son?

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