Header: We hear so many annoying and unpleasant things as physically disabled people. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could leap to our feet (or fall out of our chairs) and yell: ‘BINGO!’ This body of literature is so vast and rich, we decided to divide it into categories for easy reference:
Column 1: General Annoying Ignorance
You’re too young to have that problem/ use that mobility device/ need those painkillers!
You don’t look/ act disabled!
Are you sure you have [condition]? Do you really need that [mobility device/ hearing aid/ service dog]?
But you speak/ walk/ write/ think so well!
I should totally get my pet a vest like that; then I could take him with me everywhere!
Column 2: Smug Superiority/ Condescension
Must be nice not to have to walk everywhere/work!
Well, I just don’t do sick.
[Talking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y]
Careful you don’t get a speeding ticket on that scooter! Heh, heh, heh.
I wish I could sit down all the time!
Column 3: Astoundingly Stupid Advice
My [acquaintance] had that! She used [panpipes/ pesto/ aromatherapy/ reiki/satanic chants] and is better now!
Maybe if you’d exercise more, you’d get better!
Middle Square: Free Space: YOU’RE SO BRAVE!
If you’d stop being so negative/ gave it over to God, you’d be cured!
You don’t really have to take those medications. Big Pharma has just convinced you that you do.
Column 4: More Annoying Ignorance
What’s wrong with you? Why are you wearing/using those?
Your spouse/parent/ roommate must be a SAINT!
Everyone has SOME sort of disability!
How do you have SEX?
Oh yeah; I have [totally unrelated thing], so I know how hard it is!
Column 5: Outraged Hatred
Being fat isn’t a disability!
These parking spaces are for old people!
If you really had X then there’s no way you’d be able to do Y.
People with [your disease] are a burden and the reason the government had to raise taxes.
By using [mobility device], you’re just letting the illness win!